Tag: family

Community Mobilizes to Save High School Freshman Interested in Gender Studies BA

ATLANTA – Hundreds from Atlanta’s South Asian community assembled at Drs. Hemant and Suresha Reddy’s Buckhead home this Saturday to join a surprise intervention on behalf of the couple’s son, Kishore Reddy.
Continue reading “Community Mobilizes to Save High School Freshman Interested in Gender Studies BA”

Friend Pumped About “happy wife is happy life” Wedding Speech

CHICAGO, IL – As the marriage ceremonies of Anand and Heta Sharma took place this last weekend, families and friends prepared for a speech and dance-filled wedding reception. Continue reading “Friend Pumped About “happy wife is happy life” Wedding Speech”

Girl Enters Temple on Her Period; Nothing Happens.

 

Written By Rani Shah

October 15th, 2017

 

CHICAGO, IL – “Visiting friends, enjoying the food served by the temple, and having the chance to meditate” are just a few reasons the Mehta’s cite as to what they look forward to every Diwali season at their Chicago temple.

Last Friday, as 23-year-old Sunny Mehta popped Midol and laid on the couch with a heating pad on her groin – her mother, 51-year-old Shilpa Mehta, texted Sunny asking what time she’ll be at the temple that evening.

Sunny promptly texted back, “Hi mom, be there by 7:30.”

“Ok great…..make sure you’re not on your periods. lol.” responds Mrs. Mehta.

“Why? What happens?” texted Sunny.

“Stop it.” responds Mrs. Mehta.

With a craving for temple food and no satisfactory answer as to why she can’t enter the temple while on her period, Sunny Mehta put on some comfy leggings plus kurta and headed out.

Upon arrival to the temple, Sunny prepared for the worst.

She looked out for lightning strikes that were likely willed to her by God’s wrath. She kept her distance from the giant temple chandeliers lest one crash down upon her.

She even avoided cracks – in case they broke her mother’s back.

After praying and saying hi to some friends, Sunny safely arrived at the temple food hall where she saw her parents.

“Aren’t you on your periods?” whispered Mrs. Mehta to Sunny.

Sunny responds, “Yea. I will be next month too for that puja we’re attending. See you then.”

 

Grown Woman Nervous To Order ‘Sex on the Beach’ During Family Dinner

LAS VEGAS, NV – The waiter had finished naming off the Chef’s Specials and asked the table if they needed a few minutes before beginning their drink order. Continue reading “Grown Woman Nervous To Order ‘Sex on the Beach’ During Family Dinner”

Tensions Rise As Patio Door Is Left Open While The A/C Is On

ARLINGTON, VA – With temperatures reaching among the high 80s and 90s this summer, families everywhere are turning to their A/C to keep things comfy.

As summer break hums along, neighborhood children find themselves going between local parks and their homes multiple times per day – the constant opening and closing of doors has caused some disturbance in nearby homes.

“It’s like dad has a sixth sense,” explains 11-year-old Raghu Kumar, “I’ll open the patio door for 2 seconds and he’ll come out of NOWHERE and demand that I close the door immediately because ‘the A/C is on’.”

Raghu’s brother, 15-year-old Tejas Kumar agrees, “It’s always been like this, just last week I was watching TV and Dad heard a door close in the show I was watching. He started yelling from upstairs about how I need to close the patio door right away.”

Both sons claim that family car rides have also felt the effects of the A/C syndrome – Tejas opened the window to ask for directions and was allegedly smacked in the back of the head because ‘the A/C is on’.

Upon looking at the Kumar’s thermostat, the home is set to a balmy 76 degrees F.

Written by Rani Shah

July 6th, 2017

[Read: Mom Continues To Yell During International Calls Despite 20 Years Of Technological Advancements]

Desi Auntie Approval Association (DAAA) Approval Rating Hits All Time Low

Written by Rani Shah

June 15th, 2017

auntie villain

SUBURBIA, USA – “You looked better with long hair betaaaa,” cooed the various aunties circled around 25-year-old Sanjana Soni, “And so thin! My oh my, are you eating nowadays? This is too thin!”

“I love my hair short,” nervously laughed Ms. Soni, “Fits my personality better, plus my neck doesn’t get all sweaty!”

The auntie mob clicked their tongues and nodded their heads in disapproval, it was wedding season and they were concerned with how short hair will look while wearing a sari or legenga choli – outfits that Ms. Soni wore twice a year.

With occurrences like this happening at a shocking rate of twice per family party and/or wedding, the board of the Desi Auntie Approval Association (DAAA) has been scrambling to maintain their image.

“Back in the 90’s we were known to keep the peace and only judge when young girls weren’t feminine enough,” explains DAAA President, Sunita Auntie,  “But the aunties of this generation are a hitting it where it hurts, we’re talking fat shaming, skinny shaming, career shaming, haircut shaming, the list is never ending!”

“Just last week we had to reprimand a member for judging a guest at a wedding for pursuing graphic design and not dentistry – we’re afraid this behavior will sink the DAAA’s approval rating and will result in a funding cut.” says DAAA VP, Jyoti Auntie.

The DAAA’s funding source is primarily Zee TV and Kellyanne Conway’s personal bank account.

As the auntie mob surrounding Ms. Soni continued, she quickly checked into her flight, made sure it was indeed a one-way ticket, and tucked her short hair behind her ear.

 

 

Mom Continues To Yell During International Calls Despite 20 Years Of Technological Advancements

Written by Rani Shah

June 12th, 2017

phone desi

ATLANTA, GA – 27-year-old Rabiya Khan was awoken by loud, consistent yelling on Saturday morning at her parent’s home in suburban Atlanta.

Visiting her parents for Memorial Day weekend, loud yelling in the early hours of the weekend isn’t uncommon. She explains, “They’re calling my relatives in Pakistan. With the time difference it makes sense to call them at 8 or 9 AM.”

Upon venturing downstairs, Fuss Class News found Ms. Khan’s mother, Shahnaz Khan, loudly screaming into the mouthpiece of her cordless phone.

“YES. YES EVERYONE IS GREAT. YES CAN YOU HEAR ME? YES. RABIYA JUST STARTED HER NEW JOB AT – WHAT? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

“The yelling is a mystery,” says Ms. Khan, a software engineer, “My parents are assuming the same call quality they had in 1995. I’ve tried explaining it to them but these are the same people who insist their Android phones from 5 years ago are also just fine.”

Upon asking Ms. Khan’s relatives in Pakistan, they felt quite differently, “We think poor Shahnaz has a hearing problem and just can’t hear us. Either that or we just assumed Americans love yelling.”

[ReadDaughter With Hair On Arms Gets Engaged To Great Guy; Family Confused]