Ekta Kapoor Confesses Bindi Size Directly Correlates To Characters’ Evilness in Indian Serial Roles

MUMBAI, IN – Ekta Kapoor and other popular Indian serial producers have found success in using the tried and true technique of outfitting the evilest aunty characters in their shows with the largest bindis. Characters such as Komolika in Kasauti Zindagi Kay are assigned the most extravagant bindis so their high level of moral corruption can be easily gleaned by the audience. Continue reading “Ekta Kapoor Confesses Bindi Size Directly Correlates To Characters’ Evilness in Indian Serial Roles”

Woman Puts An End To It By Tying Rakhis On Select Male Friends

ANN ARBOR, MI – This Raksha BhandanPoonam Kaur decided enough was enough. Tired of her male friends texting her things like, “haha we would totally be a cute couple” or “You’re too pretty to go that party alone ;)”, Kaur took matters into her own hands and decided to add 4 rakhis to her repertoire this year.

Continue reading “Woman Puts An End To It By Tying Rakhis On Select Male Friends”

FOX Breaks Racial Boundaries, Casts White Actor As Terrorist In Upcoming TV Series

NEW YORK, NY – The upcoming ABC drama, This is Our Country, features a major storyline around a white man planning a terrorist attack. Continue reading “FOX Breaks Racial Boundaries, Casts White Actor As Terrorist In Upcoming TV Series”

Letters To My Mummi (No.2): Dreams

Dear Maa,

Last night I got your letter and while I was reading it I felt as if you were beside me —  holding my hand like you used to when I was a child. Remember when I would run through the rain? You’d grab my arm and drag me inside. You’d give me a towel to dry off and scold me for how careless I was. By the time I’d change into fresh clothes you’d have a hot bowl of Maggi waiting for me. Those Maggi noodles are still my favorite. Continue reading “Letters To My Mummi (No.2): Dreams”

Mom Doesn’t Know Which Yogurt Container In Fridge Actually Contains Yogurt

QUEENS, NY – An area-wide investigation was launched Tuesday evening when local mom, Shanti Gupta, opened her refrigerator door to find the yogurt dabba that actually contained yogurt was missing. Continue reading “Mom Doesn’t Know Which Yogurt Container In Fridge Actually Contains Yogurt”

Letters To My Mummi (No.1): Shaadi

Dear Maa,

Listen, I’ve eaten your rotis, even when the daal had just a touch too much salt. I’ve taken your thappads and obediently did math problems while all my other friends played outside in the summers. What I’m trying to say is that most of my life I’ve been your good beta. Continue reading “Letters To My Mummi (No.1): Shaadi”

7 Ways To Be A True ‘Handsome Brown Guy’

In partnership with Handsome Brown Guy apparel.

 

1. Be woke but pay for all our dates: Yes, it’s 2018 and feminism is all about equality but when the bill comes I will be personally offended that you didn’t pay for our $16 cocktails. Sure, I work for a tech company and actually might make more than you but I haven’t signed up for a Venmo account for this exact situation. Continue reading “7 Ways To Be A True ‘Handsome Brown Guy’”