Tag: beauty

Friends Groups Spends Hours Getting Ready To Look Exactly Like Every Other Girl At Party

CHICAGO, IL – A stick of red lipstick, intense hair straightening, and a simple swipe of cat eyeliner later, the girls getting ready at Apt. 908 are ready for their Uber heading to Naina Khanna’s birthday party. Continue reading “Friends Groups Spends Hours Getting Ready To Look Exactly Like Every Other Girl At Party”

Coachella Music Festival Leads to Widespread Bindi Shortages

Written by Sona Desai

April 14th, 2017

SEATTLE, WA – Wholesaler Amazon has noted sudden shortages of the bindi, a traditional embellishment worn by Indian women. Fuss Class Analysts note that it’s difficult to know whether this shortage is due to music festival Coachella happening this weekend or the upcoming Indian wedding season.  

Seasoned Coachella-goer Emily Jenkins voiced her enthusiasm over bindis, “I brought these stickers to Burning Man, and everyone loved them! Also, my yoga instructor, Celeste, wears one all the time. I feel like I was Indian in another life.”

Second generation Indian-American and Seattle native, Deepa Nayar admits the shortage has left her confused and annoyed.

“It’s pretty weird. As a teenager, my non-Indian friends made fun of my chutney sandwiches, funky looking Indian chappals, and the smell of incense burning in my house”, mentions Miss Nayar, “now I see those same people taking these elements of my culture to make a basic-ass statement. I can’t believe Amazon is SOLD OUT OF BINDI’S! Not looking forward to another wedding of Jigisha auntie whispering about how I’m ‘out of touch with the culture’”

Amazon teams have noted customer complaints like Deepa’s and have offered free temporary Om tattoos in lieu of all unfulfilled bindi orders.  

Local Woman’s Fingers Remain Stained 18 Days After Eating Dosa

RICHMOND, VA – After grabbing lunch at her local South Indian diner, Balaji Express, Tania Reddy was more than satisfied with her meal. Continue reading “Local Woman’s Fingers Remain Stained 18 Days After Eating Dosa”

Local Eyebrow Lady Destroys Self-Esteem By Always Asking, “Upper Lip?”

AURORA, IL – Earlier this week, 23-year-old Sara Khan arrived at Zeenat Salon to get her eyebrows threaded. It had been 3 weeks since her last threading and her selfies were no longer packing the punch they usually did. Continue reading “Local Eyebrow Lady Destroys Self-Esteem By Always Asking, “Upper Lip?””

Daughter With Hair On Arms Gets Engaged To Great Guy; Family Confused

Written by Rani Shah

December 23rd, 2016

NEW YORK, NY – Last week, 28 year old Jay Patel got down on one knee in picturesque Central Park and popped the question to his girlfriend, 27 year old Rima Desai.

Having met at a garba 3 years prior, Jay and Rima describe their relationship as, ‘loving, quirky, and honest.’ While Jay sings praises of his now fiancé , Rima always had her doubts about whether Jay would fall for her.

“Growing up, aunties would always ask why I haven’t gotten my arms waxed yet. I was told how no boy would like me but then Jay came along. He looked past my grotesque deformity and loved me for me!”, says Rima.

The couple celebrated their engagement with a family dinner in Manhattan where many family members were overjoyed, while some remained confused.

Rima’s distant family friend, Preeti Auntie had this to say, “Is she never getting her arms waxed? Do boys not have standards any longer? Sure she’s a successful attorney, fantastic artist, and major philanthropist,  but how can her arms land such a great guy?”