Tag: boy

music, news, Social

Indian Fuckboi Association Discovers Passion Fruit Is An Actual Fruit

Written by Rani Shah

April 19th, 2017

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CHICAGO, IL – Fervor surrounding Drake’s latest album release, More Life, continues among music fans. The Indian Fuckboi Association (IFA) in particular has been affected deeply by this album release – many members learning that passion fruit is not a only euphemism but also a literal fruit.

Past the counter tops cluttered with bags of creatine powder and Indian snacks from their moms, IFA’s fridge has suddenly been stocked with passion fruit flavored Chobani Greek yogurt.

IFA Communications Officer, Harish Kumar, was shocked at the new development, “I was at HQ looking for a snack and when I opened the fridge I was like whattttt this shit is a real flavor?!”

Members of the IFA will often enjoy this sweet treat while polishing their diamond earring studs, some have even bought the fruit itself. Unable to use knives properly, many passion fruits lay around IFA HQ until someone’s girlfriend visits and cuts it herself.

More Life has also prompted multiple IFA members to plan a roadtrip to Portland, Oregon and Portland, Maine, according to the National Tourism Bureau.

[Read: Indian Fuckboi Association Endorsed By President Donald Trump]

news, Social

Boy, Age 5, Disappoints Parents

PASADENA, CA – As 5-year-old Rohit Roy plays with his friends on the playground, his parents Jyoti and Dilip Roy watch in dismay.

Rohit, an extraordinarily gifted boy, was recently invited to compete in The State of California Spelling Championship – the winners of which are invited to The Scripps National Spelling Bee. After conquering words such as ‘prestidigitation’ and ‘mononuclidic’ he finished 3rd overall.

“He couldn’t win the state spelling bee,” says Mrs. Roy dejectedly. “Our eldest son, Ramesh, was able to win Scripps three years ago!” exclaims Mr. Roy, “I don’t know how Rohit will be competitive for MIT now with this setback.”

When FCN asked about his thoughts on the whole spelling bee experience, Rohit simply said, “I like trucks,” and swung away on the monkey bars.

Written by Rohan Shah

February 3rd, 2017