WASHINGTON D.C – Recent interview with the Washington Examiner’s Salena Zito reveals that President Donald Trump does not quite know why the United States Civil War occurred.

“…why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?“, stated the President.

Taking one look at the USCIS Civics Practice Exam, one will notice that a sample question to obtain US Citizenship status is knowing why the Civil War began.

While the current President of the United States can barely pass an STD test, let alone the US Citizenship exam, groups of immigrants consistently scores high on these exams.

Upon arriving at the Indian Embassy in Washington D.C, Fuss Class News (FCN) approached 26-year-old Ankit Amin who was accompanying his 72-year-old grandmother, Kantaben Bhansali, applying for US citizenship.

Mr. Amin proudly remarked, “She’s a trooper. When she moved to the US she was a maid in NYC for an MBA student, now she’s running her own tutoring company for elementary school kids.”

“I have been studying for months now,” stated Kantaben Bhansali, “I was a school teacher back in Gujarat and have a degree in Literature from the Maharaja Sayajirao University of Baroda. So no, I’m not too nervous.”

When asked what she’s most looking forward to with her imminent US citizen status, Mrs. Bhansali responded, “Advocating for the legalization of marijuana. Baapre baap it’s about time.”

Written by Rani Shah

May 1st, 2017

[Read: White Saree Demand Skyrockets As South Asians Mourn America’s Future]