[Originally published in Brown Girl Magazine]

WASHINGTON D.C – As tensions with North Korea and the United States continue to rise, President Trump has taken it upon himself rearrange U.S. Department of Defense by firing yet another cabinet member, General James Mattis.

To replace Mattis, Trump has appointed Gabbar Singh as the new U.S. Secretary of Defense – the antagonist of the 1975 blockbuster Sholay. 

“Gabbar’s expertise in looting and terrorizing villages really speaks to the strategy we want to employ overseas,” squeaks President Trump, “His total lack of empathy is exactly what makes him a great colleague.”

Mr. Singh was asked to explain his key strategy to deal with North Korean Leader, Kim Jong-un in a recent press conference, to which he responded with, “Jo darr gaya, samjo marr gaya.”

Adamant to have more attendees than Trump’s inauguration, the press conference ended with Mr. Singh repeatedly asking “Kitne aadmi the?”

Written by Rani Shah

August 12th, 2017

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