There’s usually way too much food floating around, that is until you have to go look for it yourself.
1. The garage fridge: It’s the token white fridge your parents put in the garage once they bought their new stainless steel fridge. All the good shit is in that fridge. The frozen samosas, your dad’s beer stash, the cake from your sister’s graduation party. It’s all in the farthest possible place you could possibly walk to in your house and honestly, it’s not worth that walk.
2. The yogurt containers: Sure your parents moved across the ocean and made it in a new country with new jobs and new home, but god forbid the ‘authentic Indian dahi’ containers ever be replaced in lieu of actual food containers. You’re gonna pop open at least 3 of these babies until you find the biryani you’re looking for.
3. Sheila aunty: Your mom’s friend that you absolutely cannot stand. The one making sure that you know how ‘unresponsible’ your career choice is. The one who will ask you why you don’t come to family parties anymore. The one your mom just gave all the delicious leftovers to because even though Sheila aunty is basic AF she always gives you guys the best gulab jamun in town.
4. The local Costco shut down: Bruh. If this place shuts down your parents are never buying groceries again.
5. You’re 35 & unmarried and your parents are passive-aggressively starving you until you move out: “Give me grandchildren and I’ll give you a pakora.”
By Rani Shah
April 20th, 2018