Chinese Student Questions Ethnicity Based On Report Card Results

Written by Joseph Z Chen

January 26th, 2017

SAN JOSE, CA – “I don’t understand. I didn’t think this was possible”, remarked Jason Wong as he opened his report card.

When Mr. Wong saw the big “A-” next to his high school Calculus II course, he was at a loss for words. After he overcame his initial shock, his mind raced with possible explanations. The final conclusion? He had to be adopted.

“I mean, everyone jokes about how Asian kids are good at math, but this is one stereotype that is actually supposed to be true!”, said Mr. Wong, “I think my parents have been lying to me this whole time. I must not be Chinese at all.”

Mr. Wong points to further evidence, claiming that despite studying the piano for 10+ years, he has yet to place in any national piano competitions. Allegedly, he also likes eating beans.

When Jason confronted his parents, Wei and Alice Wong, they were equally perplexed.

“I labored for 42 hours, 18 minutes, and 32 seconds. I think I would have remembered if he was adopted. He must have been switched at birth. That’s the only explanation.”, exclaimed Mrs. Wong.

Jason always wanted to become a doctor or lawyer but he’s no longer so certain. With his identity shaken to its core, this high school student doesn’t even know if he wants to attend grad school anymore.

“I just don’t know who I am. If I’m not good at math, who am I?”

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